So you’ve decided that you want to start barefoot running, huh? Allow me to enlighten you on the terrible things that will happen to you when you start walking and running barefoot.
Your feet will be dirty all the time
Running barefoot means your feet come into contact with dirt, asphalt, concrete, and other brown and black things. If you forget and put your feet on clean stuff at home you will get angry at yourself. You will need to make an enormous investment in products to scrub your feet. Like a whole $5 for a pumice stone. Or one of those foot-strap scrubby things works very well.
Your barefoot abilities will make you cocky
You are a now a member of a very elite group.
You run barefoot on hard surfaces. On concrete for pete’s sake!
You secretly know that it actually FEELS GOOD, but to the rest of the world, you are a BADASS and not to be trifled with. My comeback of choice to people in my face lately has been I RUN BAREFOOT ON HOT ASPHALT MOTHERFUCKAH!*
*in my mind
The bottoms of your feet will become like the pads on an animal’s paw
But that hasn’t happened at all. What does happen is that “fat pads” will start to form under your skin, giving your feet more padding and natural support. And the skin on top gets thicker, but stays surprisingly soft. I’ve heard it described that your feet will become like a dog’s paw pads.
You will be annoyed every second you have to have shoes on and wonder how long it will be before you can get your next fix – er – take your shoes off
As soon as I arrive at any destination – home, office, coffee shop, friend’s house- the shoes come off. If I am doing something where I can’t remove my shoes (en route on the subway) I get annoyed and have to distract myself with shiny things. The next step in this evolution is making fake barefoot “shoes” so you never have this problem.
Or you will just start going barefoot and not give a crap.
You will need to throw out all your old shoes
- you realize that you do not WANT to wear shoes and
- Your feet will start to spread, making the shoes you used to stuff your feet into even more unwearable.
And you will get frustrated because there are very few shoes made wide enough for actual feet that are not fugly (at least for girls). I am working on this problem on your behalf. (I’m designing some cute minimalist girl shoes).
You will become obsessed with the changes in your feet and will probably bombard the folks on the barefoot running discussion boards with questions
Hi, I’m Charlene, and I’m obsessed with my feet. And I didn’t even used to LIKE feet. But I am so chuffed at how amazing they are, I can’t stop documenting their changes, and asking everyone on the boards, “is this normal?” Some interesting things that have happened:
- My formerly bony feet have become nicely fleshed out (and apparently they become more “vascular” too (more blood flow)
- I have grown arches (exciting for a former flat footer!)
- My feet are no longer cold. They heat up on a run like a nice engine warming and chugging along
When you are ready, here is an awesome minimalist barefoot running board.
I hope you have enjoyed this public service message about the dangers of barefoot running.